Randy's Brew

Top 10 Best Things about the "Empty Nest"

10.  Doors and bathroom drawers being closed do not wake you after midnight.

9.  Restaurant take-home-boxes are still in the fridge the next day.

8.  You only have to carry out the garbage once a week.

7.  There are no lights to turn off.

6.  The thermostat setting stays fixed.

5.  Cereal boxes in the pantry actually contain cereal.

4.  Finding a parking spot in the driveway is easier.

3.  A gallon of milk lasts a week instead of a day.

2.  The TV remote control is where you left it.

1.  You no longer have to lock your bedroom door. :)

Top 10 Moments from the Journey/Heart/Cheap Trick Concert

10.  "Alone"  --  Heart

9.  "I Want You to Want Me"  --  Cheap Trick

8.  "Lights"  --  Journey

7.  "Don't Stop Believin'"  --  Journey

6.  "These Dreams"  --  Heart

5.  "Cray on You"  --  Heart

4.  "Any Way You Want It"  --  Journey

3.  "Lovin', Touchin', Sqeezin'"  --  Journey

2.  "Crazy on You"  --  Heart

1.  "Barracuda"  --  Heart

Top 10 Ways I Was Able to Conquer “Lakewood Hill” in the Fireball Evans 4th of July 10K

10.  Confucius said, “It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”

9.  Large ladies in front of me were making it up the hill.

8.  The “little red engine that could” made it up the hill.

7.  Teddy Lou Gardner, Mary Lou Gardner, and Cindy Lou Gardner Gregory were clapping for the runners at the base of the hill.

6.  Bono was “jamming” in my MP3.

5.  Knew I could coast down the hill on East 18^th Street.

4.  “Landrith Hill” was just around the corner and provided inspiration.

3.  I knew that Mom’s brisket would revitalize me at lunch.

2.  Anticipated Loree being at the finish line to provide sympathy and support.

1.  Kept quoting Philippians 4:13 to myself—“I can do all thing through Him who gives me strength.”

Top 10 Signs You May not Be Reading Your Bible Enough

10. You thought Billy Graham delivered the Sermon on the Mount .

9. You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.

8. You think the old saying "cleanliness is next to godliness" is actually a verse in the Bible.

7.  Your favorite Old Testament Patriarch is Ben Hur.

6. You thought Joan of Ark was Noah’s wife.

5. You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance.

4. Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"

3.  You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries.

2. You keep falling for it every time when the preacher tells you to turn to First Hezekiah.

1. The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."

Top 10 Ways You Know You Might Be a Member of the Church of Christ

10. If you’ve never been to a church that wasn’t named after the street it was on.
9. If you think “progressive” refers to those in the church who want to use PowerPoint.
8. If you recognize any of these ministers by first name alone: Stafford, Marvin, Jimmy, Rubel, Batsell, or Ira.
7. If you’ve ever carried your Bible in an empty casserole dish.
6.  If you’ve ever wondered who Ebon Pinion was.
5. If you can actually read shape notes.
4. If you actually know what a “ready recollection” is and have been thoroughly “guide-guard-and-directed” all your life.
3. If you know exactly what song I’m talking about when I ask you to turn to number 728b.
2. If you decide which Bible translation to use based on how Acts 2:38 reads.
1. If you’ve stood for 13 verses of “Just As I Am” with the last stanza sung softly.

Top 10 Quotes by Yogi Berra

10.  “You can observe a lot by watching.”

9.  “I didn’t really say everything I said.”  (Yogi creates a “Yogi-ism” in his disclaimer that he didn’t say everything he is supposed to have said.)

8.  “Always go to other people’s funerals otherwise they won't go to yours.”

7.  “You better make it four; I don’t think I could eat eight.”  (Yogi’s response when asked how many slices should be cut in his pizza.)

6.  “I didn’t know you were sick.”  (What Yogi said to his wife when she returned home from seeing Dr. Zhivago.)

5.  “Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.”

4.  "Never answer an anonymous letter"

3.  “It’s like déjà vu all over again.”  (Yogi said this in reference to the frequent home runs by Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle.)

2.  “When you get to a fork in the road, take it.”  (This is part of the driving directions to his house in his hometown of Montclair, New Jersey.  There is a fork in the road and either way you take, you will get to his house.)

1.  “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”  (This quote is probably the most famous Yogi-ism.  He first said this about the 1973 National League pennant race.)